breathing with bear

Mr. Noah currently gets between 2 and 6 breathing treatments a day. He will usually get a car, or book, or we sing during the treatments (5-10 minutes each). This day he got his bear-the one from Mr. and Mrs. Barratt.



I found a tiny mask he used to fit in when he first came home.


So we put in on bear.


I don't know why he always leaves his mouth gaping wide during the treatments, but it always makes me smile...

and it's oh, so, quiet....

I was facebooking. Not doing my homework, not writing my paper, not doing anything productive. Facebooking. I just wanted 10 minutes with no munchkin interruptions. Wanted to spy on my friends and see what they've been up to since I cancelled my account in October. Noah was in his room with the baby gate and I even remembered to put the garbage on top of his changing table.

He was being very quiet. All you mommys know that is not a good sign. Like I said, hooked in facebookland. After about 5 minutes, I called out to him. Usually I get a "Mommy" or another type of babble. Nothing.

When I finally got my self up and down the hall, this is what my little sweetie pie surprised me with...








He smelled so good, he didn't even need a bath!!!

The Big Mama Blues...

To be more accurate, I would have said "Mama's BIG blues," but it didn't sound right for a title. So what is it about those days when you just feel crummy? And discouraged? And lonely? And more than a bit ungrateful? I hate those days!!

I have also been having one for the past 36 hours. The most annoying part about it is that I have only been StayAtHoming for a week this time. I think it sends me back to isolation days when Noah and I LIVED at the doctor's offices in Illinois.

Everyone says "You're pregnant, you're hormonal." I was before I got pregnant, too. I just feel like a big mess (not big, sizewise-I actually think I'm over that), just bumming around. Noah has been sick this week and I was not feeling well yesterday. I am just soooooooooo tired!

He needs all these extra breathing treatments and feeding him can be a pain in the butt b/c he spends half the time choking. I want to just sleep, but am too anxious or feel guilty about making him sit in his playpen all day. Plus, there's dishes, laundry, all the things that a perfectionist housewife cannot seem to let go. Then I get annoyed because I start feeling like I am doing this all on my own and can I really handle another minute of it?

I keep wondering, how am I gonna juggle all the "mommy and wife business" when I have Autumn, too? Actually, outside of the poo-days, I am usually happy and confident about having 2 kids. However, the flood gates open more frequently and I feel so weak minded sometimes!

I had a mini-spazz when I was on the phone with the third nurse this morning. I hope she couldn't hear it in my voice. Actually I don't care. Thinking "Just another crazy parent" is probably part of her daily routine. I probably deserve it, considering how many times I thought it as a teacher:)

I hung up the phone and had a super huge, and way too long, pity-party. Then I had to recognize that God is not a liar. He will not put more on us than we can handle. This means I must be stronger than I give myself credit for-because of Him!! I called this Parent-To-Parent Support Line (for parents of kids w/ special needs) and started the registration process. Then I did my homework and played with Noah.

Playing with a toddler is one of the most therapeutic things a mommy can do to cure the Mama Blues. I crawled around on the floor, hissing and growling at him while he ran back and forth laughing like a wildman! If only I could maintain the mind frame I have now. Hopefully I got it out of my system. I hate the Big Mama Blues!!!!!

"Eat Eat!"

Every toddler deserves a self-feeding blog debut. His first words involved eating (cracker, cup, bottle - forget mommy or daddy!). His first clearly spoken double syllable was "Eateat," which he says ALL THE TIME. And eating is a favorite past-time for both of us, so here it is.

Though I don't always like to let him feed himself, I was very impressed with how clean HE stayed with this spaghetti (notice I didn't say anything about the tray). When I got the camera, I actually thought to myself "Maybe we won't need a bath, since he did such a good job.

Just a little on the arms...


and kind of alot on the face...


and now he's noticing it on his arm...


and hand, and now he's smacking himself on the head...


guess we have to have a bath after all!"


Oh well, I'm sure I will be happy for all the extra mess when he is a polished self-feeder by the time Autumn arrives! Right? Um, guys, right???

Snowman!

These pics are from a few weeks ago, and I have to take advantage of having my mom's camera for the time being. N got these super cute snowsuits from a freind who has yet to meet him (thanks, Nancy!!!). Considering his immune system and lungs, it took me about 6 weeks to let him venture outside in the blue one (it has a tail on the butt).

We have talked quite a bit about the snow. N used to be adamant about it being "hot!!" every time he saw it. I would say "no, you silly baby, it's cold, brrrr." Finally he caught on and started to say "col, burrrrr, burrr, burrr" incessantly whenever we went to the car. Even when there wasn't any snow. For 3-4 minutes at least.

As you can see, he had no idea what to do- just kept saying "col, burrr, burrrrrr" over and over.


I sat him down after about 5 minutes of being a statue.


The action began when he took his glove off and stuck his hand in the snow ("snuhh").





He didn't cry, but kept wrinking up his face saying "snuhhh, col, burrr, burrr." and then kind of whining because his hand stayed so col.

MESSAGE TO KATI SHAW

Ms. Kati Shaw (aka Mrs. Robby Shaw), I need an email address for you so I can find out what's happening in your life. All our love to you and the boys:)

24 and more!

So, I went to the doc yesterday for my (enter amount of weeks) check-up. The heartbeat sounds great, and she is kicking like a wild woman. Considering how hyperactive Noah continues to be, I am not surprised that his lil' sis is already giving him a run for his money.

I, however, was very surprised when I hopped on the scale. First of all, I couldn't SEE the scale to read it. Interesting, that has never happened to me before! The biggest shocker came when I sashayed my belly and neck around until I finally got a peek......



Yikes!!! 193??!!! I will certainly weigh 200 pounds by the time this pregnancy is over, another first in my life. Well, the belly IS protruding...





According to everything I am reading, the most that she weighs is, like, 2 pounds?? Then you add the 2 pounds of placenta, a few pounds for bigger boobs, enlarged uterus, some water weight, and, hm, I know I am forgetting something.
um...

no...

no...

probably not...

uh-oh...




There it is!! The "small piece" of chocolate cake I ate at one am the other night, plus the six pieces of pizza I ate at work this one day.



Yeah, that's where the other 18 pounds came from. I'm pretty sure anyways.


Though I have yet to proclaim " I'm eating for two," I am (surprisingly) not freaking out about it. I say surprisingly because I used to run 10-15 miles a week, play basketball every day, and be an overall health nut. I HAVE started going back to the gym. This move was okayed by the doc, since I have passed the 24 week mark. I spent just under 12 minutes on the bike the other day and then I had some Whoppers and Root Beer on the way home. Oh well, at least I almost worked up a sweat!

SO, I say "24 and more" because big baby girl can't decide when she wants her due date to be. It was originally May 11th, then moved into April and now back to May. I guess I will just tell people "whenever God decides." Noah taught me that due dates are pretty much irrelevant, anyways!




(Man, that kid makes me look pale-lol!)