I used to be weird and quirky and fun. Now I'm just tired. And I guess I'm still weird, but there is not enough leftover to be still quirky. I miss that part of me. Don't worry, I won't lament here, but all you mommies can probably help me out with this. Where has Kelly gone? I never thought I would define myself as "a mom." Not that I never thought I'd BE a mom, just not be completely defined by being one. I know and have heard that each stage passes so fast and we have to cherish each moment---right now I want to add BLAH BLAH BLAH to that. My two year old has a mouth sassier than a teenager. My four year old got in trouble at school today BIG TIME-sent to the office TWICE and EJ, well, he's still just the little guy on the tit (hahaha). Here are a few steps I'm taking to continue to know who I am. The babies will turn 19 and be gone in the blink of an eye and I need to make sure that there is some Kelly left standing. 1 Peter 3 and Proverbs 31:10 and on. This is who I'm called to be. A woman totally devoted to her husband and children. A daughter of God in heaven who is seeking eternal life through Jesus Christ. A servant. Compassionate, forgiving, kind, meek, Lord help me! I don't know even HOW to begin to be all of those things. >>>>Lately I have been feeling so selfish and more like a deranged drill sargent.<<<< I ran today. for almost 25 minutes. Mostly uphill. It felt so empowering for Carlton to tell me that I have a strong mind. That compliment propelled me up and on when everything was burning and I wanted to give up. I blogged, emailed and called a friend today. I dressed up in a beautiful and cheap skirt, put on some lip gloss and felt very pretty when my hubs complimented me. (Then I took the outfit immediately off before EJ could spit up on it) I made silly jokes with Autumn when I really just wanted to scream about all of the constant cleaning I have to do. I snapped into teacher-mode when I found out that Noah got in trouble at school today. Talking and making sense of big concepts to little Noah instead of just spanking him. I realized that God gave ME this special little fella because HE believes I can raise him and raise him well. I kissed EJ incessantly on the nose. So much that he spit up on me and grew quite cross-eyed. This has nothing to do with rediscovering me, but it felt good to slow down and cherish the moment that is now in fact so quickly gone. There were still traces of drill sargent, but also traces of Kelly today. I am so glad and grateful about this.